i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
