You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
