what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
