Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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