oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
