we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
