We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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