well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
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