It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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