Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize
