And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
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surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
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All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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