I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Oh god it's open bar.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
