I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
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