its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
How external is "for external use only"?
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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