Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
