apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Randomize
