ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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