Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize