I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
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Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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