the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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