Well apparently he's into motor boating.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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