Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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