Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
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