I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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