quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
