my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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