You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
