I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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