Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
He called his prostate his "boner button".
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
