I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Randomize
