i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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