You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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