Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
She's the barista slut.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
