I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
i just google imaged poop.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
