"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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