our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
