I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
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I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
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I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
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