I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
please come you make the beer taste better
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
