I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
