i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Operation Purity has been aborted
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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