Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
