I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
