i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
