I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
