I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Randomize
