Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
