what day is it and did you see me today?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
