Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
