i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
