you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize