Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
