U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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