if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
