he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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