you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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