miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
try to milk me bitch
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
