Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
