Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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