Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
