sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
