I looked at my own cervix.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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